Scrambled, Please!

I did something this weekend that I haven't done in a couple years - golfed, and something I've never done before - played in a scramble.

I wasn't too worried about how I'd play after taking over a year off because, 1. I've never had LPGA aspirations, and 2. it was a scramble. Golf is fun for me because I can be outside, get some exercise, and the event was with lots of my friends. And it was a charity event to benefit children with challenges. What could be better?

The weather was good (thought it was a tad hot) but I am a fair weather golfer, I hate playing in bad weather. I remember playing some Spring rounds that were cold, blustery and rainy - never again. If I'm going to spend the day out on the course, I'm not going to waste it on a crappy day. I want to be out in the sunshine enjoying nature and all the flora and fauna around me, not trying to contend with wearing extra, bulky layers of clothes, dealing with club covers and umbrellas on rainy, windy days.

Speaking of the sights around us, despite the firecrackers being set off by a couple of groups of rowdy hockey players golfing in the event also, there was lots to see. There was a groundhog off to side of the 10th fairway (which sparked the question of whether it was the same as a woodchuck and/or is it the same as a whistlepig? Yes, we did try to whistle at it.), mulberries (we decided not to experiment to see if they are edible), spotted some fish in the streams and ponds (not saying my ball went in the water, mind you), a horse ran to the fence and whinnied at us when we were on the 16th green, and we had an impromptu lesson on what poison ivy looks like (there was lots of it, hopefully my cartmate avoided it successfully! No comment on why we were traipsing around in the woods.).

Back to the actual golf - I had fun. We used some of my drives and approach shots and I hit a couple good putts for us to make par or bogey. I hit some bad shots, and some really bad chips (the short game is the first to go, right?). But I'm ready to hit the links again, especially if it's a scramble.

The big bonus of the day is the time I spent with my friends. It wasn't about the golf, we didn't care if we won. (Ok, I admit we were trying to have the lowest score for the chicks' teams and we came in 2nd. Maybe next year!) But it was really about the time we spent together and the memories we made. There are pictures of our day but I don't think we took any pics of us actually hitting any shots. Our photos included taking turns swinging from a Tarzan vine (maybe that's why my arms are so sore?) and other candid moments from our fun outing.

Anyone want to make a tee time?

I Went to the Library

When I was a little girl, I remember going to the library with my mom. She'd take my sisters and me and we'd browse in the picture books and make our selections. My favorites were about Edith and Mr. Bear, or anything by Dr. Seuss. As I got a little older, I'd check out the Ed Emberley drawing books or some of the Little House on the Prairie titles of course, or even the Guinness Book of World Records. I'd pick out a stack in about 10 minutes and sit down to peruse my finds while Mom and my two sisters made their choices. After we checked our books out, I remember racing to the little foyer with the drinking fountain. That fountain had the coldest best-tasting water ever. With Mom looking on, us three girls would jostle each other trying to get the first drink, and then the last drink heading out the door. Then riding home in the car while Mom drove, we'd inevitably get car-sick from reading our books, too excited to wait the short drive home.

As a teen, I volunteered during the summers helping with their reading club. Little did I know that it would lead to my first job. Or that I would continue working at various branches of the library for the next 20 years. Never would I have guessed that I would meet the love of my life working together at the library.

I went to our local library tonight. It only took about 5 minutes to gather a stack of books that looked promising. After sitting down to read the dust jackets, not all of them made the cut, but I was happy with my selections. Some from favorite authors, a couple new authors to try. As I made my way out through the lobby, I spotted the drinking fountain...and I kept walking, right past it out the door. I knew there was no way it could ever taste as cold and sweet as the one in my memories.

Feeling Out of Sorts

I have been a little out of it the past couple days.

Sunday night I went to bed a little later than usual. I had just drifted off to sleep when suddenly I sensed someone run into the room and stand next to me beside the bed. I opened my eyes and saw a figure standing there looking at me - I started screaming. AH! AHH! AHHHH! My third scream woke me up - yes, I woke myself up, screaming.

I sat there, instantly wide awake, shaking in fear. My eyes wide open, unblinking, as I searched the darkness for the person I saw a moment ago. It took me half an hour before I finally got up the nerve to move to reach over and turn on the light on the nightstand.

I ventured downstairs where my husband was watching tv and winding down for the night. I crawled into his lap and burst into tears, from the fright and relief. I was surprised he hadn't heard my yells. My wonderful husband checked throughout the entire house to reassure me that there wasn't a prowler hiding somewhere. Neither of us really slept the rest of the night, keeping our senses alert.

I know it was all just a dream, but it was so, so real. I don't dream very often, and never anything like this. I don't think I talk in my sleep and as far as I know, this is the first time I've screamed in my sleep. It was truly horrifying.

When I got home after work yesterday, the girls were still at school at their activities. For the first time ever, I was nervous being alone in our house. I kept the dog close by. I haven't been watching scary movies, reading horror novels, or eating spicy foods before bed. I don't know what caused me to dream this, and frankly I was more than a little afraid to go to sleep last night for fear it would happen again. I try not to think about it, but it keeps coming into my head.

I'm not sure if I believe in premonitions, or ghosts, or visitations. But the urgency of the figure running to me and how real they seemed standing next to me, definitely makes me wonder what the message is.

How Do I Love Thee?

It's that time of year - Valentine's Day is approaching. We are starting to see the ads for flowers, chocolates, jewelry and restaurants. Sappy commercials to tug at your heartstrings, or sexy commercials to tug at something else. ;)

Those with significant others use it as an occasion to show each other how much they mean to each other. As for those who are single, it only serves to drive home the fact that they are indeed single.

I am happily married (20 years this coming summer) and we don't celebrate Valentine's Day, never have - by my own choice. Flowers just die, spend the money on something more lasting. Candy is dandy, but I don't need the extra calories. The restaurants will be crowded, we can go out another day. Jewelry is always nice of course, but will be overpriced for the holiday - save that for another day (or a 20th anniversary, hint hint!). (My practical side even comes through in romance!)

Why do I need a date on the calendar to remind me to show my husband I love him? I tell him everyday. Everything I do shows him how much I love him.

And in exchange? He does the same for me. No grand gestures or extravagant gifts - it's all the little things he does. Even paying the bills or picking up the girls shows his love for me.

As for "grand gestures," just last week I came home from work to find that he made spaghetti with his homemade sauce and garlic bread, the table was set and he did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen afterward. No occasion or special date on the calendar - just because. Completely took me by surprise. I know he loves me. We celebrate our Valentine's Day every day.

Requesting a Friend

I've written and said often how much I'm enjoying using social media to reconnect with old friends and classmates. Sadly, one re-connection just isn't going to happen.

On FB this morning, I found someone. As I was growing up he was my neighbor, a friend, and a classmate. I fondly remember hanging out with him with our neighborhood group, playing kick-the-can and putting on shows. Anticipating the opportunity of reminiscing about our younger days, I sent a friend request, and got back this:

"wow. Are u f***ing kiding me. You are a total ****. Do you remeber how you treated me. Think about you white trash w**** NOW"

OMG! I'm shocked.

I've always thought that I was a good person, I give back to the community and to others. I'm a nice person. This is not self-proclaimed - many people have told me so, sometimes so much so that "nice" doesn't always seem like a compliment. I know "kids will be kids" and kids are mean to each other, but for those of you that knew me then, I think you'll agree that I really was a nice kid. Brown-nose, teacher's pet, straight-A student, Girl Scout even through high school, respectful, accepting, straight-laced - heck, I was the kid that got picked on and made fun of! So this scathing response I received from my friend request came as a surprise.

I don't know what I did to him. I don't know why he still has such vehement hatred toward me, and at this point I don't think it matters. It troubles me to think I could have been so mean to someone that they carry such indignation to warrant such a diatribe decades later. And I'll admit it gives me pause to think: could there be others that I offended and I have no recollection?

So first of all, I'd like to thank him for his honesty (I really do try to see the good in everyone, there is something to be learned even from our harshest critics). And second, I'd like to apologize to anyone that I ever offended or hurt in some way. I assure you it was unintentional, I meant no ill-will toward you.

I don't expect to be friends with everyone I've ever met. And I'm sure I'll be more selective before I click on "Add as Friend" on FB in the future. I do hope he will somehow find some peace and let go of his resentment towards me and his childhood.

I still look back on our neighborhood childhood with fondness, and I would still call him my friend. I hope when I leave the world one day that the majority of the people I've ever met will remember that I am a nice person.