Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Feeling Out of Sorts

I have been a little out of it the past couple days.

Sunday night I went to bed a little later than usual. I had just drifted off to sleep when suddenly I sensed someone run into the room and stand next to me beside the bed. I opened my eyes and saw a figure standing there looking at me - I started screaming. AH! AHH! AHHHH! My third scream woke me up - yes, I woke myself up, screaming.

I sat there, instantly wide awake, shaking in fear. My eyes wide open, unblinking, as I searched the darkness for the person I saw a moment ago. It took me half an hour before I finally got up the nerve to move to reach over and turn on the light on the nightstand.

I ventured downstairs where my husband was watching tv and winding down for the night. I crawled into his lap and burst into tears, from the fright and relief. I was surprised he hadn't heard my yells. My wonderful husband checked throughout the entire house to reassure me that there wasn't a prowler hiding somewhere. Neither of us really slept the rest of the night, keeping our senses alert.

I know it was all just a dream, but it was so, so real. I don't dream very often, and never anything like this. I don't think I talk in my sleep and as far as I know, this is the first time I've screamed in my sleep. It was truly horrifying.

When I got home after work yesterday, the girls were still at school at their activities. For the first time ever, I was nervous being alone in our house. I kept the dog close by. I haven't been watching scary movies, reading horror novels, or eating spicy foods before bed. I don't know what caused me to dream this, and frankly I was more than a little afraid to go to sleep last night for fear it would happen again. I try not to think about it, but it keeps coming into my head.

I'm not sure if I believe in premonitions, or ghosts, or visitations. But the urgency of the figure running to me and how real they seemed standing next to me, definitely makes me wonder what the message is.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

How Do I Love Thee?

It's that time of year - Valentine's Day is approaching. We are starting to see the ads for flowers, chocolates, jewelry and restaurants. Sappy commercials to tug at your heartstrings, or sexy commercials to tug at something else. ;)

Those with significant others use it as an occasion to show each other how much they mean to each other. As for those who are single, it only serves to drive home the fact that they are indeed single.

I am happily married (20 years this coming summer) and we don't celebrate Valentine's Day, never have - by my own choice. Flowers just die, spend the money on something more lasting. Candy is dandy, but I don't need the extra calories. The restaurants will be crowded, we can go out another day. Jewelry is always nice of course, but will be overpriced for the holiday - save that for another day (or a 20th anniversary, hint hint!). (My practical side even comes through in romance!)

Why do I need a date on the calendar to remind me to show my husband I love him? I tell him everyday. Everything I do shows him how much I love him.

And in exchange? He does the same for me. No grand gestures or extravagant gifts - it's all the little things he does. Even paying the bills or picking up the girls shows his love for me.

As for "grand gestures," just last week I came home from work to find that he made spaghetti with his homemade sauce and garlic bread, the table was set and he did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen afterward. No occasion or special date on the calendar - just because. Completely took me by surprise. I know he loves me. We celebrate our Valentine's Day every day.